So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
