doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
