You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
