Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my shit smells like andre
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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