Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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