I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
