i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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