What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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