You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
