we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
