I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
