ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
They have beer where we have blood.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
