you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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