I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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