She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
