Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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