So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
