I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
