That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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