the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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