I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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