Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I want to fling myself into the sun
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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