i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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