They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
