Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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