it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
