my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
