someone threw a dead crab at me
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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