I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
