I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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