Midget sex pt 2 tonight
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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