She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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