Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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