we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
