Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
