This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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