Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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