Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
