Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
this is an emotional support booty call
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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