Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
