i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
