did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
