my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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