Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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