Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
