weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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