I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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