Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
