I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
