ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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