wat bout pragnant strippers??
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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