he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
