Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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