Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
