You're a womanizer and a bitch.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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