I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
