it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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