I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
