1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize