I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize