Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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