i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
