Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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