Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
