why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize